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As soon as things start to go poorly, irresponsible people
trot out their excuse and let themselves off the hook. But
that won't get them anywhere in the long run.
A basic law of human life was first espoused by Socrates
more than 400 years before Christ. It's called the Law of
Causality. We call it the Law of Cause and Effect. It
states that for every effect in your life, there's a cause.
If there's any effect that you desire, or desire more of,
you can trace it back to the cause, and by duplicating the
cause, you can have the effect.
For example, everyone wants to be healthy. If you set a
high level of physical health and energy as your goal, or
the desired effect, you can have it simply by finding out
the cause, by finding out what other healthy and energetic
people do with regard to diet, exercise and rest, and by
doing the same thing. If you do, you're likely to get the
same result. This is no miracle. It sounds simple, but in
many cases, it's one of the hardest things in the world to
do.
Unhappiness is an effect as well. If you wish to be happy,
the first thing to do is to decide for yourself the kind of
life situation in which you would feel wonderful. Think of
the very best times of your life, and think of what you
were doing, where you were doing it, and the people you
were with at the time. Then write out, in complete detail,
a description of your ideal lifestyle. Now you have defined
the effect that you desire.
Next, look at your current life and ask yourself, "What are
all the things in my life that are inconsistent with the
lifestyle that would make me happy?" In other words, look
at the causes of the effects that you don't like. Then make
a decision to begin alleviating or removing those causes,
one by one, until what you have left is the kind of life
you want to live.
Your thoughts are extremely powerful. They have the power
to raise and lower your blood pressure, your pulse rate and
your respiratory rate. They can affect your digestion. And
if your thoughts are strong enough, they can even make you
sick or healthy. Your thoughts tend to trigger images in
your mind, and the feelings in your body are consistent
with them. If you think or read happy, healthy thoughts,
you will have happy, healthy pictures and experience happy,
healthy emotions. As Deepak Chopra points out in his
audiocassette program Magical Mind, Magical Body, every
part of your mind is connected to every single part of your
body in a complex web of messages and impulses that affect
everything you feel, say and do.
Only you can think your thoughts, only you can decide what
you'll dwell upon, what you'll read and listen to, who
you'll associate with and the conversations you'll engage
in; therefore, you are totally responsible for all the
consequences of all those behaviors. It's unavoidable.
Perhaps the most important part of the subject of
self-responsibility involves your happiness and your peace of
mind. There seems to be a direct relationship between
responsibility and happiness on the one hand, and
irresponsibility and unhappiness on the other hand. Let me
explain.
First of all, the key to happiness is having a sense of
control over what's going on in your life. The more you
feel that you're in control, the happier you'll be. Men and
women who have risen to the top of their organizations tend
to be far happier than people further down. This is because
they feel far more in control of their destinies, far more
capable of making decisions and taking action.
The more responsibility you take in your company, the more
power, authority and respect you'll receive. One of the
smartest things you can do is to take responsibility for
the most important concerns of your boss. The more you
accept responsibility for getting results in the areas that
your boss considers most important, the more valuable and
indispensable you'll become in your organization.
People who want more money and more respect often think
that they can get it simply by asking for it or by
politicking. The truth is, it will come to you more quickly
if you put yourself forward and accept responsibility for
obtaining results within your organization. The most
respected people in any company are those who are the most
capable of getting the most important jobs done on
schedule.
The more responsibility you take, the more in control you
are. And the freer you are, especially in your own mind, to
make decisions and to do the things you want to do. So
there's a direct relationship between responsibility,
control, freedom and happiness. The happiest people in the
world are those who feel absolutely terrific about
themselves, and this is the natural outgrowth of accepting
total responsibility for every part of their lives.
At the other end of the spectrum, there is
irresponsibility, or the failure to accept responsibility.
Each person is somewhere in between, moving toward a higher
level of responsibility or irresponsibility with every word
and every decision. In fact, a good definition of insanity
is total irresponsibility, to the point of needing a
straitjacket and a padded cell. Thomas Szasz, the great
psychoanalyst, once wrote, "There is no such thing as
insanity. There are only varying levels of
irresponsibility."
A person who is completely irresponsible is subject to
anger, hostility, fear, resentment, doubt and all sorts of
negative emotions. And here's why. All negative emotions
tend to be associated with blame. Fully 99 percent of all
our problems exist only because we're able to blame someone
or something for them. The instant we stop blaming, our
negative emotions begin disappearing.
What's the antidote to blaming? It's simple! Since your
mind can hold only one thought at a time, either positive
or negative, you can override the tendency to blame and
become angry simply by saying, firmly, "I am responsible!"
You can't accept responsibility for a situation and be
angry at the same time. You can't accept responsibility and
be unhappy or upset. The acceptance of responsibility
negates negative emotions and short-circuits any tendencies
toward unhappiness.
The very act of accepting responsibility calms your mind
and clarifies your vision. It soothes your emotions and
enables you to think more positively and constructively. In
fact, the acceptance of responsibility often gives you
insight into what you should do to resolve the situation.
Here's an exercise: Look at the most common problems and
difficulties that people have in life. Apply this simple
remedy of accepting responsibility to each one, and see
what happens.
People have problems with other people-their spouses, their
children, their friends, their co-workers and their bosses.
Someone once said that almost all of our problems in life
have hair on top, come on two legs and talk back. So think
of the people in your life who cause you any stress or
anxiety and ask yourself who is responsible. Are they
responsible for being in your life, or are you responsible
for having them in your life?
According to the Law of Attraction, you're a living magnet
in that you invariably attract people into your life who
harmonize with your dominant thoughts and emotions. The
people in your life are there because you've attracted them
by the person you are, by the thoughts you hold, by the
emotions you experience. If you're not happy with the
people surrounding you, you're responsible. You're
attracting them, and you're keeping them there.
Let me give you an example. I have four beautiful children.
For a long time, when my children were behaving in ways
that I felt were inappropriate, I had a tendency to blame
or criticize them. However, the more I studied child
raising and learned about the subject, the more I found
that children are almost totally reactive. Their behaviors
are almost always responses to what is going on around them
and to their relationships with their parents. So I began
asking the question, "What is it in me that is causing my
child to act this way?" As soon as I turned the question
around, and looked to myself for the reason and in effect
accepted complete responsibility for my children's
behavior, I was able to see what I might be doing, or not
doing, that my children were reacting to. Perhaps I wasn't
spending enough one-on-one time with them. Perhaps I wasn't
listening to them when they wanted to talk. Perhaps I was
too quick to question their report cards.
I began to apply that simple principle to every other part
of my life as well. I began asking, "What is it in me that
is causing this external situation?" If the Law of
Correspondence is true (and it is), and everything that is
happening to you on the outside is due to something that is
happening to you on the inside, then the first place to
look is within. As soon as you do that, you begin to see
things that you had completely missed when you were busy
blaming others and making excuses. You begin to see that
you're responsible in large measure for the things that are
happening to you.
If you're in a bad relationship, who got you there? You
likely weren't marched into the relationship and kept there
at gunpoint. So it's largely a matter of free will and free
choice on your part. If you're not happy, it's up to you to
do something about it. As Henry Ford II once said, "Never
complain, never explain." If you're not happy with the
situation, do something about it. If you're not willing to
do something about it, then don't complain.
There's the story of the construction worker who opens up
his lunch box at the noon break and unwraps his sandwich to
find that it contains sardines. He gets really upset and
complains loudly to everyone around him about how much he
hates sardines. The next day, the same thing happens: a
sardine sandwich. Again, the construction worker shouts and
complains about how much he hates sardines for lunch. The
third day it happens again. By this time, his fellow
workers are getting fed up with his loud complaining. One
of them leans over and says to him, "If you hate sardines
so much, why don't you tell your wife to make you some
other kind of sandwich?" The construction worker turns to
the fellow and says, "Oh, I'm not married. I make my own
lunches!"
Many of us get into the same situation as the construction
worker and complain about circumstances that are almost
entirely of our own making. Is this true for you? Look over
your relationships and ask where this might be true in your
life.
Are you happy with your job? Are you happy with the amount
of money you're earning? Are you happy with your level of
responsibility and your activities each day? If you're not,
you need to accept that you're completely responsible for
every aspect of your job and your career. Why? Because you
chose it freely. You took the job, you assumed the
responsibilities, and you accepted the wage. If you're not
happy with any of them, for any reason, then it's up to you
to do something different.
You're earning today exactly what you're worth, not a penny
more, not a penny less. In life, we tend to get exactly
what we deserve. If you're not satisfied with the amount
you're getting, look around you, at people who are doing
the kind of work you would like to do and earning the kind
of money you would like to earn. Ask them what they're
doing differently from what you're doing. What are the
causes of the effects they're getting?
Once you know what they are, accept complete responsibility
for your situation, apply your wonderful mind and
abilities, back them with willpower and self-discipline,
and get busy making the changes you need to make to enjoy
the life you want to enjoy.
Your great aim in life is to develop character. Character
is composed of self-esteem, self-discipline, the ability to
delay gratification, and the willingness to accept full
responsibility for your life and everything in it. The more
you say to yourself, "I am responsible," the stronger,
better and finer a person you become. And every part of
your life will improve at the same time.
Copyright © 2001 Brian Tracy International. All Rights Reserved.
About Brian Tracy
Brian Tracy is one of the world's leading authorities on
personal and business success. As Chairman and CEO of
Brian Tracy International
he is the best-selling author of several cutting edge Personal
Development books and over 300 audio and video learning
programs. His fast-moving talks and seminars on leadership,
sales, managerial effectiveness and business strategy are
loaded with powerful, proven ideas and strategies that
people can apply immediately to get better results in every
area.
Visit Brian Tracy's web site and take advantage of Brian's
FREE audio program offer - 21 Success Secrets Of Self Made
Millionaires.
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